perugia shock

We certainly didn’t believe anything two murderers like Amanda and Raffaele said. We believed you, dear Monica, Marco, Rita, Lorena, Stefano, Armando…, our dear friends and colleagues (because, yes, we, judges and cops, are peers). We are enchanted by the sweet voice and considered manners that you show to the judge, we are amazed by your sense of legality, we are fascinated by your large culture. What do you want us to believe? That the pair called the 112 after the police arrived?

That she threw her sweatshirt soaked in Meredith’s blood?

That you surprised them doing the laundry?

That they smelled of blood?

That there was glass on Filomena’s clothes?

That she spontaneously accused Patrick?

That when you found the knife it smelled of bleach?

That there was a bleach receipt?

That you used the gloves?

That there were discotheque buses? (Even for the St Andrews! (the great policewoman said in court) –a club  smaller than a bus and in the middle of the town…)

You can treat us like this, no problem. We buy everything from you, never mind if there’s no proof of what you say, never mind if it goes counter to any evidence, never mind how absurd it may be.

And if it comes out that you lied? Don’t worry! What’s friendship for?

Should she say that you tricked her into naming Patrick? Don’t worry, you don’t have to do anything, we’ll sue her on your behalf, for slander!

Should someone repeat what she said? Don’t’ worry, we can sue anyone! (Who cares, the Italians pay for all these trials that we start)

The court of Florence told us this is a crime, that we shouldn’t bother people, that the prosecutor must act with prudence. But judges in Florence are idiots, they are jealous of us because they see our great results, like solving the Meredith case in 4 days (well, almost solving…).

For some reason in our little town there are the best judges and the best cops. We are the best in Italy, with your help, of which we are so grateful.

And if things go bad? No problem for you, people know our names and faces, not yours. We will take the blame! And if journalists ask us why we protect you? No problem, we’ll remember that we can’t release interviews!

We know you never lie and nobody can fool you (well, except Aviello, who made you dig in the whole Umbria, and Amanda who, you say, sent you to arrest Patrick!).

Thank you for all the precious information you provided us, especially for the last one, very important, that Amanda was having sex with a drug dealer. Never mind if it was just your fantasy, and a bit sick, we appreciate everything coming from your side.

Actually we didn’t believe only you, we also believed a drug dealer, a tramp and a store owner who were saying impossible things. But only thanks to you we were able to make this great theory that made us famous in the world!

You have already been awarded and we too, after having caused 8 years of jail with a theory like this, after having started so many other proceedings, against Amanda, Raffaele, their families, some lawyers, some journalists… for sure we’ll make a great career.

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So, Amanda didn’t get along with Meredith because of disagreements about cleaning. And what did she do, did she move out? No: suddenly, while watching Amelie (a movie that inspires violence so much…), she understood that she didn’t need to relocate. For such a serious problem there was a simpler solution: killing Meredith.

She took a knife from the drawer, she convinced her boyfriend and a stranger to help her, and they went to  the house.

Unfortunately Rudi had to go to the toilet so he left Meredith alone with the two dangerous criminals, who attacked her. Then poor Rudi ran from the toilet to see what was going on but then, together with Raffaele, he obeyed Amanda like a puppet.

Or maybe (Massei’s variation) Raffaele gave her that knife for self-protection! (He, the lover of fancy knives, provided his girlfriend with the cheapest piece of cutlery and totally unusable for that purpose…). Then, in the house, while hearing that Rudi was raping Meredith, they run in help: of Rudi! The ending is the same for both version: they raped and killed Meredith.

However, they stabbed her and ran away, but then she and Raffaele returned (with a microscope, probably…) to remove only their own cells from the scene but leaving the ones of Rudi (forgetting that once one of the three was nabbed, that would have led to the arrest of the others as well…). And to stage a break-in.

They were able to remove every single hair they had lost, every single shoe-print, fingerprint… everything. But they didn’t see a huge bloody footprint Raffaele had left in the bathroom…. The footprint in the bathroom is Raffaele’s, of course, even if it can’t be attributed to anyone…

No Doubts!

This stain, during the collective hallucination was, of course: “Raffaele’s foot”!

They cleaned all night long and during the next morning. But, after that, they didn’t need to rest, they didn’t try to gain time, they didn’t even leave for the trip to Gubbio they had planned and announced, they didn’t escape. On the contrary, knowing that nobody would have discovered the body anytime soon, since it was holiday and there was no one in the house, they were maybe worried that the passing time could have made it difficult for the judge to reconstruct the crime. So, ardent to undergo a third degree, they called the police and gave the alarm!

So, they are really idiots, but when the theory needs them to be geniuses they are geniuses, particularly Amanda, who, on the night of the 3rd, sent an email with her version to her friends in Seattle. She predicted that one day she would have been suspected but, instead of escaping, she chose to use her friends. She sent them an email with the version she wanted the judges to believe,  calculating that her friends would have delivered the mail to the Italian police, the judge would have received her version as genuine, and believed that the murder was made by some unknown thieves (or by Rudi, since they deliberately left his traces…)

About the murder weapon the theory needed them to be idiots. Murder weapons, actually, because to take advantage of a victim like Mez, so strong, they needed TWO KNIVES!

So, they disposed of one of the knives, but the main one no, they didn’t throw it away: they preserved it in the drawer for whenever the police wanted to come seize it. They tried to wash it, but in four days, with plenty of bottles of bleach, two people weren’t able to! And some DNA, in the middle of the blade, resisted even the bleach!…

That DNA test, indeed, is certainly right, even if it can’t be repeated. The blood test, instead, which was negative, is certainly wrong.

Then to help the cops understand that they were the murderers (because they are idiots), Amanda decided to act a bit crazy, right in the police station, or anytime there was a cop around. Raffaele, instead, decided to go there with a knife in his pocket.

We are talking great cops here, cops who nobody can fool. They know all the most advanced tecniques of thought-reading (they probably document themselves from scientific publications as Eva 3000). Details we could never notice, but that don’t escape to the eye of such experienced investigators.

Those great cops understood at a glance that Amanda was lying when saying that she didn’t know who killed Meredith… And it was as easy as a game for them to make her sing like a canard…
But the girl is a genius (when needed) so, once they broke her down, she accused Patrick, calculating in a second that they would buy it and go arrest him, and, by the time they will realize it was a joke, she would already be in the States…

But you can’t fool such great investigators…  I mean you can fool them, until the one they arrest comes up with an alibi…

For some reason, indeed, their fine techniques of thought-reading didn’t work when Amanda accused Patrick: they really went to arrest him!
And didn’t work when Patrick told them they were taking a blunder. They thought he was lying!

By the way…

This theory was made by Mignini and Comodi, who didn’t believe Amanda but believed their friends and peers, the cops. That’s who they have to thank if they are in this glorious situation right now. In Perugia, indeed, for some reason the cops are all great, they don’t need evidence, they intuit the truth. Indeed these particular cops have already been awarded for having arrested Amanda and Raffaele, so they are officially great.

So, the judge who wants to solve a case just has to listen to their intuition and he will be higly rewarded, as Mignini and Comodi are today.

They, indeed, succeeded over all the line: all other judges believed and even contributed to this theory: Matteini, Micheli, Ricciarelli and Court of Freedom, Supreme court and Prosecutor General, Corte d’Assise D’appello, Prosecutor General and again the Supreme Court who judged Rudi…

Who am I to doubt of such a successful theory?

I am nobody, I am an idiot, and all those magistrates are very qualified persons. Today. Tomorrow we’ll see.